Let Me be Carpet; You Step on Me

OK, things are definitely out of control, now. We all realise there are slow news days, but coupled with the abundance of slow journalists in Stravaraland we have nothing less than a lethal combination. It kills common sense on contact.

I'd hate to be a shrink in Cyprus (my sincere apologies for using the pat term to Dr. Mikellides who pens an exquisite column in Politis) but my armchair-psychiatric aspirations lead me to believe that Stravaraland is beyond sick. No, not everyone living there but the new job-for-life-ers; our self proclaimed journalists, who go around pimping every painfully stupid theory put to them by the people up at the presidential mantra.

These morons would print their own farts if they could get a decent enough photograph. And the editors would just fall about laughing like the idiot child on bad acid in the sandbox, while squealing "haaaa, smelly, smelly, smelly". Then one of them would break wind and the rest would simply faint.

Armchair psychiatry or not, I firmly believe that the island is in the grip of rampant psychosis that goes waaaay beyond my rudimentary understanding of the Stockholm Syndrome.

I must digress as my thoughts go lateral on me and chuckle as I remember the guy who drove off a hill on his tractor on one of those glorious summer days in red earth country when the first Scandinavian breasts began exposing themselves to farmers and hotel staff.

The problem with Turkey, is that we think it's dying. We've thought so for ages. But then we want to be held hostage and never be liberated. Not only that, we want to be abused, spat on and generally treated like...hmm, I guess, like the Stravaralanders treat the imported labour force. And worse.

The whole EuroAcidTrip we're on has nothing, whatsoever to do with justice or even cheap Viagra. No. It has to do with Stravaraland getting a shot at 'recognising' Turkey, only to turn around and say prits

It's not a matter of ports of entry in Turkey, airspace and tea houses being accessible to all Stravaralanders. No. We fail to tell the people that Cyrpus officially accepts such paraphernalia as Turkish passports and what have you. We recognise them and we want soooooo badly to be recognised by Turkey.

And every time a related far-fetched theory is touted, everyone jumps up and down whilst getting increasingly aroused.

I hate to go on about the peacekeeping thingy but I just lost it when I heard of the bullshit being spread by Pashardis et Cie.

"So, if the Turks send peacekeepers to Lebanon...ahh...nai, nai....they'll have to come through Cyprus...ahh...but if they don't recognise us will they go through the psudonorth...ahh...no, no, that would be illegal and they would end up being ridiculed in Lebanon by the fleeing kojakares...ahh...."

What in damnation do these half-wits think is going to happen? Do they seriously want us to believe that Memet and the washed 300 would just pitch up at Larnaca airport waving their passports, while at the same time struggling to get their artillery through the X ray machines? And will this imply recognition??

If you want to test recognition there are plenty of them in the bloody north, Just go up to an army camp and nod to the sentry and say "Re! You know who I am, re?" If he nods than we're all recognised. Same goes if he shoots you on the spot.

"play me like a dog, baby...yavrum, let me become the carpet on which you tread"

Wait a minute, you don't suppose the Turkish military have any means of overflying Stravaraland and getting straight to Lebanon, do you?

"No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power."
-P.J. O'Rourke