April 02, 2008

Potatoes & Halloumi

Third helicopter, eh? Hm, this opens a window of opportunity and future innovation. When the third helicopter arrives it would be a good idea to get the pilot up to speed by implementing a new and innovative programme. This revolutionary plan would be implemented in two stages.

STAGE ONE: Potato prices have gone to hell in a hand-basket. By using the newly leased helicopters we will start carpet bombing potato fields with salt water. There is a good chance the crops will become resistant to salt water, thus giving us a new, niche crop - the salt water potato.

Once the success of the project is assured, we get Photis to go for the double whammy of trademarking our new crop and halloumi at the same time, thus saving the taxpayer a serious chunk of change. We'll need however to buy a snazzy apartment or house in Brussels so that our man can get on with it and be in a position to entertain and conduct a bit of his own business on the side.

This may make up for the fact that unless the deal for the 3rd chopper was made by Photis himself he will make up for the lost revenue that would have come in the form of a kickback. One last thing to remember about the salt water potatoes is the niche marketing and the astronomical price the crop will command. The state can compensate the farmers while the experiment is underway and make up for the losses from the insane profits that will be generated by the Salt Water Potato Promotion Council which can be headed by Photis upon his return from Brussels.

STAGE TWO: Twice a week the helicopters will overfly urban areas and douse us all with water. Those opting to take a shower will stand naked in predetermined areas for the al fresco shower. Also, idiots would not need to water concrete and gravel every afternoon, thus immediately saving tons of our precious natural resource. Trees and vegetation will also eventually become resistant to salt water and thus we can put our newly leased helicopters to full time use for the salvation of the country.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

i found your guys blog by typing in www.cyprusweekly.com (evidently the wrong address i'll admit) can you begin to imagine the confusion this will create. I am laughing my head off. funny site though, i think i'll bookmark it!

03 April, 2008 02:57  

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