You Don't Ask, You Don't Get

Our job as mere mortals, eligible to vote is to exercise our scared duty and draw little crosses or place ticks behind curtains. Voting in our representatives ensures that there is a grown-up in parliament who'll look after us and address our concerns. They need to pose questions and do so persistently and without fail to the extent of some of them being seen as irritating. You can't be polite about things as people prefer for things to stay as they are.

The people of Stravaraland have proved this and their defiant spirit, as foreigners have tried to impose their fiendish plans on us. And things stay as they are, with tens of thousands of unpleasant chappies armed to the teeth in the pseudonorth calling themselves the Turkish Army. But the European Solution - as those amongst us on crack insist - will make those unsavoury bastards disappear overnight. Whenever that day may arrive, that is.

In the mean time, though, we have to do as best we can and not overlook the Representatives who ought to command more respect and adulation. I speak, in this case, of Mr Perdikis of the Cyprus Greens (no, not as in salad, essential to the digestive tract - the party).

The cute little chart above shows without a doubt that Greenboy is more committed to asking questions at parliamentary sessions than anyone else. Yes, definitely committed with a total of 708 questions posed since... hmm, not quite sure. It may be since 1989 but the website doesn't clarify.

I can see it now:

Perdikis rushes in late and takes a pew, the MP next to him rolls his eyes as if to say 'here we go again':

Perdikis: (to MP next to him) "Crap, you guys started without me?"

Perdikis: "Damn, my watch stopped, do you know what time it is?"

Jimmy The Sheftali starts pontificating with gavel in hand: ".....la la la la la, yadda yadda yadda, fuckin' imperialist sons of unwashed whores....yadda yadda... send Fidel a bouquet of flowers.....all those in favour...."

Perdikis: "What, what, I didn't hear him, how much are the flowers going to cost?"

Perdikis: (Interrupting Omirou, who is about to ask about the cost of the flowers to be sent to Fidel and whether they can be procured from his second cousin's neighbour's daughter's flower shop) "Jimmy...Jimmy (jumping up and down trying to get the Speaker's attention) I have a friend who processes lubricants and his wife runs a flower shop. Shall I get on the phone and get an offer on those flowers?"

MPs start hissing, as they all know of a florist they'd like to promote, and start pelting Perdikis with small cubes of Tofu, supplied to them at a reasonable price for such occasions by the police sargeant in charge of MPs parking their subsidised cars in the middle of the street.

Perdikis: (trying to take cover)"Guys!...Antigone!...enough! Can't an MP ask a question around here?"

As you can see, that's 5 questions right there, that could have been asked by the honourable Mr. Perdikis within the first 10 minutes of the session.

43% of all questions posed, according to the Greens' website. Mashalla, Greenboy, mashalla!