August 28, 2006

3 Stripes, 1 Percent

After their training courses which involved pushing people around and beating the crap out of them, Stravaraland's police force now faces another scandalous scandal in which foreign powers ought to be implicated. Not as a diversion, you understand.

The facts: 270 policemen sat for exams for promotion to sergeant. Only three passed. (Which sounds perfectly natural: only 1 per cent of cops have any brains.)

However this fact was considered suspicious by the authorities, leading to the suggestion that maybe there had been a leak from the examiners (from Ministry of Education, police, Attorney General's office). The police took the matter to the Attorney General who suggested it might be better to cancel the results of the exams for the public good.

Conclusion: If 270 sit an exam, 267 fail and 3 pass, it's not because the 267 were dumb and couldn't answer the questions and the 3 might not have been so dumb and did answer the questions, but because the 3 knew the questions beforehand. Or, put another way, the police hierarchy itself believes its ordinary constables can't possibly pass an exam unless they cheat.

But why can't we be a bit lenient. Having figured out some of the tasks set out by the exams, the 3 in question are now able to count to ten and write their own names. So, seeing as they do meet the minimum requirements why can't they be given a shot at the post of sergeant.

Latest twist on Mega TV, the three all worked in the same office. Aha!! Another conspiracy, as I firmly believe the exams were leaked to the cops by a foreign power to punish the majority (waaaaay more than 1%) for the brave OXI of the Great Patriotic Referendum.


Blogger michaella said...

Personally, I do believe that the 3 successful candidates were actually clever, because they actually thought they could actually cheat, whereas it didn’t pass from the mind (=εν επέρασε που τον νου) of the rest to do so.

28 August, 2006 12:29  
Blogger michaella said...

You should never underestimate the Cypriot police force. The other day my friend and I visited an ATM machine which fucked (εγάμησε) our lovely orange mastercards, i.e. a big χταρμαθκιά was created on top of the numbers and some sort of black thing leaked all over it. We, as clever girls, studying in London where not very legal things happen on the ATMs, decided that the whole thing was suspicious. So, we gave a ring to the Line of the Citizen (Γραμμή του Πολίτη) to report possible fraud. After deep consideration, the man in charge (possibly someone with a beer-belly, 80s glasses and a big moustache) decided that he had no knowledge of what should be done is such situations, so he would transfer us to the cid. I re-explained the whole thing to the officer there, expecting them to send somebody over to check the ATM in question. Instead, he told me «εν και εσένα και της φίλης σου έννε?» and inauspiciously I answered yes. “Well, you need to bring your cards over at the cid offices to check on them”. I considered that very weird indeed, and I told my friend who was the driver who said, «α εν γι αυτό που σε ερώτησε αν είναι δύο κοπέλες». Nevertheless, we complied (we were indeed quite αθκιασερές) and went over. The mucho guy was waiting for us. After he gave a very good look at us, top to bottom, several times, we proposed that he should also check on our cards. In a matter of about 3 seconds he gave a thorough check in both our cards and the statements (those guys have superhuman eyes) and decided that the ATM was broken.

The efficiency of the force should never be put on doubt. The cid guy did indeed check on something that night. What is irrelevant.

28 August, 2006 12:31  

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