February 27, 2008

Give Jimmy a Chance

The bus taking unrepentant libertarians off to re-education camps has been unable to make it to my place due to chaotic roadworks. And for this I am grateful. In time, I will comply of my own volition.

Comrades and comradettes, we now have a new president of the republic. Comrade Jimmy has made it to the post of top dog in Stravaraland. Having read Photini's post, I must admit I am scared shitless of TeePee still managing to pull a few strings.

Of course the one string he'd love to pull is one that could lead to some sort of appointment or position that would ensure immunity from prosecution. I mean, we couldn't really have a former dictator being indicted as a war criminal or a mega money launderer, could we? Who cares if we're talking about over $11 billion.

But that will be the subject of a future post. In the meantime, we're open to generous bribes. Unmarked Deutschmarks will not do, by the way. But, as Pikifrinos would say, I digress.

The day Raoul took over from Fidel, Stravaraland elected its first communist president. And that's the difference; it was a democratic and fair election. This blog will, no doubt, test his sense of humour and patience. I'm sure he'll take it in his stride.

I will return with a list of requests in a later post. Till then I wish to warn people of a new TeePee inspired bit of propaganda already rearing its ugly head via the State Broadcaster. The new line seems to go (as voiced by two anchors on Tuesday alone) along the lines of: "Won't all this interest in restarting negotiations by the foreigners put undue pressure on our new president...?".

Of course we also have out-of-the-blue gems such as the one spouted by M. Ignatiou on Mega that went along the lines of "The United States that once supported a coup and an invasion now seem to be supporting the re-unification of the island".

February 22, 2008

Apres mois le deluge

'Apres mois le deluge' (After me the deluge, i.e. total collapse) said Louis XV who ran the French monarchy into the ground. The phrase has since become synonymous with arrogant politicians and business leaders alike. Now we see this attitude being adopted by Tassos who is pulling the strings behind the scenes to make sure the collapse comes but he will be there to save the country in its hour of need.

His primary objective is to weaken AKEL and destroy DIKO. Why? Because he cannot forgive Christofias for calling him a liar and uncovering his machinations at Burgenstock in the case of AKEL and never cared much for DIKO which he just used to come to power. Remember Spyros Kyprianou accused him of being the mastermind behind the plot aginst him in 1977 and was always wary of him, even when Enosis Kentrou joined DIKO. Tassos got his revenge on Spyros by taking control of DIKO and slowly replacing Spyros' men with his own, culminating in the ousting of Nicos Kleanthous by Marios Karoyan and making his godson Kenevezos the General Secretary.

Remember also that Tassos was the original chameleon, compared to whom Lillikas is a poor clone. Tassos was co-founder of the Enaion Komma with Glafkos Clerides, ditched the party in 1976 and stood as an independent to get a seat in the Vouli, set up Enosis Kentrou in opposition to DIKO, was rabidly anti-communist all of his political life and founded Kyrikas (with Lazaros Mavrou as leader writer) to fight federation as a solution. One still wonders how Christofias was taken in in 2003 unless like the majority of Cypriots he has a short-term memory.

That is the Why. Now for the How:

First the weakening of AKEL. By forcing Christofias back into the tripartite alliance (trimerous) Tassos knows that Christofias will have a difficult time governing the country. He will have to rely on the support of DISY to push for a solution, which will make him look weak in the eyes of his grassroot members and he will see any attempt to introduce economic or social change blocked by DIKO and DISY.

Meanwhile EDEK which will insist on the Ministry of Defence once again will make hay as they did before. At the same time Nicos Katsourides, the man seduced by Tassos with an entree to Nicosia high society, will continue sidelining AKEL ideologues the way he did with Andreas Christou and Eleni Mavrou.

The destruction of DIKO. The theory is that whenever DIKO was in power with DISY, it lost members. The unpalatable fact is that there is a section of people, mostly civil servants, army, police etc., who back the governing party no matter which it is in the hope of promotions, appointments, government tenders etc., and when AKEL becomes the governing party they will vote for it and cut down DIKO once again in the next parliamentary elections. AKEL will kick it out of the trimerous because it will be too small to be useful but Christofias will find it just as difficult to pass any legislation.

With DIKO in disarray Enosis Kentrou will be revived as the only reliable party for the rightwing, DISY having been discredited by its support for Akel on the Cyprus solution.

Finally, why did Tassos not support a DISY-DIKO alliance? Because none of the above could be brought into play.

Το Τελευταίο Προεδρικό Διάγγελμα

19 Φεβρουαρίου 2008

Συμπατριώτισσες, Συμπατριώτες,

Μέσα σε αυτές της εξαιρετικής ιστορικής σημασίας συνθήκες, νιώθω υποχρέωσή μου να απευθυνθώ σ΄ εσάς: στον Κυρίαρχο Κυπριακό Λαό. Στις 17 Φεβρουαρίου ένοιωσα πως δεν έπρεπε να αναμειχθώ ξανά στις εκλογές δεδομένης της μεγάλης ηλικίας μου και την παταγώδη αποτυχία μου.

Όμως γρήγορα ξεπέρασα το σοκ από την ήττα καθώς ο Νικόλας και ο Κωνσταντίνος, η Αναστασία και η Φωτεινή (να μην αναφέρω και τα νεογέννητα εγγονάκια μου) γοερά μου υπενθύμησαν ότι δεν μπορώ να αποσυρθώ χωρίς να σκεφτώ το πολιτικό μέλλον όλων σας ανεξαιρέτως. Την ίδια στιγμή τα σκιτσάκια του Πιν έδειχναν το φόβο σας για τις αλλαγές που έρχονται. Και άγνωστοι φίλοι αρθρογραφούσαν ήδη

Του Δρος Ευστάθιου Αβρααμίδη: Ο Τάσσος Παπαδόπουλος φεύγει λοιπόν από
την Προεδρία. Όπως οι ξένοι θέλησαν και σχεδίασαν και όπως κομματικές
ηγεσίες εκτέλεσαν. Για την αποκαθήλωσή του γιορτάζουν οι εχθροί της
Κύπρου και θρηνούν οι επόμενες γενιές των Ελλήνων της Κύπρου.

Μετά από αυτά τα γεγονότα νοιώθω υποχρέωση μου να σας καθοδηγήσω πριν χαθεί και η τελευταία ευκαιρία διάλυσης των μακαριακών δυνάμεων που έσωσαν τη Δημοκρατία τον Απρίλιο του 2004.

Ελληνικέ Κυπριακέ Λαέ,

Κάθε λαός διαμορφώνει και γράφει τη δική του ιστορία. Άλλοτε με απελευθερωτικούς και κοινωνικούς αγώνες, άλλοτε με δημοκρατικές διαδικασίες διά της ψήφου του. Τώρα καλείται ο Κυπριακός Λαός, καλούμαστε ο καθένας χωριστά και συλλογικά, να γράψουμε την ιστορία του μέλλοντος της Κύπρου.
Η πατρίδα μας, διέρχεται τις πιο δραματικές ώρες της μακραίωνης ιστορίας της. Ώρες καθοριστικές όχι μόνο για το παρόν και τη δική μας γενεά, αλλά και για το μέλλον και τις γενεές που θα έρθουν. Οι αποφάσεις που θα πάρουμε εμείς φέτος, διαμορφώνουν και καθορίζουν τις τύχες και τα πεπρωμένα και των επερχόμενων γενεών.

Είμαι πεπεισμένος ότι ολόκληρη η πολιτική ηγεσία του τόπου, αλλά και η κάθε μιά και ο καθένας από σας, έχει πλήρη επίγνωση της σοβαρότητας της απόφασης που καλούμαστε να πάρουμε αυτή την Κυριακή.

Δεν πρόκειται για πολιτικές εκλογές όπου τα Κόμματα καταμετρούν τη δύναμή τους. Δεν θα αναμετρηθούν τα Κόμματα μεταξύ τους. Θα αναμετρηθούμε με την ιστορία.
Η διαφύλαξη λοιπόν της ενότητας μας είναι ύψιστο χρέος προς την πατρίδα μας. Η ενότητα μας καλύτερα διαφυλάττεται με την επανασύσταση της τριμερούς συνεργασίας που τόσα καλά έφερε στον τόπο. Με την επανασύσταση της τριμερούς και την προσωπική εμπλοκή κι άλλων μελών της ευρύτερης οικογένειας μου στη διακυβέρνηση του τόπου καταφέρνουμε πολλά και διάφορα επιτεύγματα με μία μονοκοντηλιά. Εμβολιάζουμε την κυβέρνηση με αγωνιστικά και διεκδικητικά γονίδια (να μην αναφέρω τα εμφανή της ανώτερης νοημοσύνης). Καταφέρνουμε να αφήσουμε τη δεξιά εκτός κυβέρνησης. Και ελέγχουμε τον κύριο Αναστασιάδη, που δύσκολα μπορεί να ελεγχθεί. Συνεχίζουμε να εμβολιάζουμε την κοινωνία με τα ταλέντα του ΔΗΚΟ και των Νέων Δυνάμεων. Πώς, πέστε μου αγαπητοί κύριοι (και κυρίες), ΠΩΣ θα μπορέσετε να ζήσετε χωρίς τα πολύπλευρα ταλέντα του κύριου Λιλλήκα;

Ελληνικέ Κυπριακέ Λαέ,

Όπως το 2003, έτσι και τώρα, ξαναζητώ τη ψήφο σου μέσω του Σύντροφου Δημήτρη, και αναλαμβάνω την δέσμευση ότι θα αγωνιστώ με όλες μου τις δυνάμεις, σε κάθε επίπεδο και από κάθε βήμα που προσφέρεται, για να πετύχω, μέσω μιας πιο διεκδικητικής πολιτικής, βελτιώσεις στις πιθανές, προτεινόμενες λύσεις.

Ελληνικέ Κυπριακέ Λαέ,

Ως Πρόεδρος της Δημοκρατίας και εκλεγμένος εκπρόσωπος της Ελληνοκυπριακής Κοινότητας, ανέλαβα τη βαριά ευθύνη της διεξαγωγής των διαπραγματεύσεων. Αισθάνομαι βαρύ το χρέος να δηλώσω δημόσια, με ειλικρίνεια και παρρησία τη δική μου αποτίμηση και τη δική μου απόφαση. Δεν μπορώ πλέον να μη συμμετέχω στη διαπραγματευτική ομάδα για το Κυπριακό. Πιστεύω ότι η στάση μου τον Απρίλιο του 2004 σε εμένα έδωσε το δικαίωμα να είμαι εσαεί ο Διαπραγματευτής. Πιστεύω ακράδαντα ότι δε θα ήταν δίκαιο να στερηθώ αυτού του δικαιώματος και στη θέση μου να βρεθεί κάποιο αμούστακο μαθητούδι του Γλαύκου Κληρίδη. Δεν ξέρουν αυτοί οι θιασώτες των νεκραναστημένων αγωνιστών της ΕΟΚΑ ότι διεκδικητικός αγώνας χωρίς μουστάκι είναι σαν να προσκαλείς την άλλη πλευρά να μη σε παίρνει στα σοβαρά; Ειλικρινά μπορείτε να διανοηθείτε ικανή διαπραγμάτευση της Συμφωνίας της 8ης Ιουλίου χωρίς τον κύριο Τζιωνή;

Πολλοί βέβαια με κατηγορούν ότι παρέλαβα κράτος και παρολίγο να παραδώσω δύο κράτη. Αυτά είναι συκοφαντίες σεναριολόγων έργων επιστημονικής φαντασίας. Δέστε τί έγινε στο Κόσσοβο. Ούτε καν το Συμβούλιο Ασφαλείας δεν αποδέχθηκε την ανεξαρτησία των Κοσσοβάρων.

Ελληνικέ Κυπριακέ Λαέ,

Τα συναισθήματά μου δεν είναι διαφορετικά από τα δικά σας. Στην υπηρεσία σας έχω τάξει τον εαυτό μου και πριν αλλά ιδιαιτέρως από την ανάδειξή μου στην προεδρία της Κυπριακής Πολιτείας. Στόχος και γνώμονας της κάθε πράξης μου είναι το συμφέρον του λαού και τίποτε άλλο, με αφοσίωση και πλήρη ανάληψη των ευθυνών μου και με παρρησία λόγου και έργου. Η τελική απόφαση ήταν πάντα και παραμένει δική σας. Η ετυμηγορία σας θα εκφραστεί στις Εκλογές.

Συνεκτιμώντας όλα τα δεδομένα με ψυχραιμία και αντικειμενικότητα αλλά και με πλήρη συναίσθηση της ιστορικότητας των στιγμών και το βάρος της ευθύνης που μου αναλογεί, λυπούμαι ειλικρινά, γιατί θα πρέπει να διαφωνήσω με τον Αρχιεπίσκοπο, έστω και αν τις ευλογίες του ζητούσα σε όλη τη διάρκεια της ιστορικής πια θητείας μου. Ειλικρινά πιστεύω ότι πιο κοντά είναι οι θέσεις μου στο Γιώργο Βασιλείου αυτή την ιστορική στιγμή και μαζί θα πορευθούμε μπροστά για τη Νίκη.

Να θυμάστε καλά. Παρέλαβα Κράτος διεθνώς αναγνωρισμένο. Παραδίδω κράτος διεθνώς αναγνωρισμένο. Η Κύπρος με παρρησία κατέστη ισχυροτέρα τον Απρίλιο του 2004. Ισχυρή την παραδίδω στο Δημήτρη και στην ευρύτερη οικογένεια μου. Σαν Διαπραγματευτής πια (όπως τότε όταν αντικατέστησα το Γλαύκο Κληρίδη) θα επιμείνω και δεν θα παραδώσω «Κοινότητα» χωρίς δικαίωμα λόγου διεθνώς και σε αναζήτηση κηδεμόνα. Και όλα αυτά έναντι κενών, παραπλανητικών, δήθεν, προσδοκιών. Έναντι της ανεδαφικής ψευδαίσθησης ότι η Τουρκία θα τηρήσει τις δεσμεύσεις της. Δεν μπορώ να πάω σπίτι μου όταν τέτοιοι κίνδυνοι ελλοχεύουν, είμαι σίγουρος ότι αντιλαμβάνεστε τη θέση μου.

Συμπατριώτισσες, συμπατριώτες,

Αυτή την Κυριακή θα τοποθετηθείτε έναντι δύο υποψηφίων. Θα αποφασίσετε για το παρόν και το μέλλον της Κύπρου. Για τη γενιά μας, αλλά και τις γενιές που θα έρθουν μετά από εμάς.
Έχω εμπιστοσύνη στην κρίση σας.
Είμαι βέβαιος ότι δεν σας αγγίζουν ψεύτικα διλήμματα.
Είμαι βέβαιος ότι εξακολουθούν να έχουν για σας νόημα οι ηθικές αρχές και αξίες του λαού μας, του πολιτισμού και του εθνικού ιστορικού μας βίου, τον οποίο θέλετε να συνεχίσουμε με ασφάλεια, δικαιοσύνη, ελευθερία και ειρήνη.

Ελληνικέ Κυπριακέ Λαέ,

Στη ζυγαριά του Δημήτρη και του Ιωάννη, πολύ βαρύτερες και πολύ πιο επαχθείς θα είναι οι συνέπειες από τον πολιτικό μαθητή του Γλαύκου Κληρίδη.
Σε καλώ να ψηφίσεις Δημήτρη.
Σε καλώ να υπερασπιστείς το δίκαιο, την αξιοπρέπεια και την ιστορία σου.
Με αίσθημα ευθύνης απέναντι στην Ιστορία, στο παρόν και το μέλλον της Κύπρου και του λαού μας, σε καλώ να μην υποθηκεύσεις το μέλλον στην πολιτική βούληση της Τουρκίας. Να προασπιστείς την Κυπριακή Δημοκρατία. Να συστρατευτείς για μια νέα πιο ελπιδοφόρα πορεία επανένωσης της πατρίδας μας μέσα από την Ευρωπαϊκή Ένωση.

Καλή ψήφο σε όλους και όλες.

A Kingdom for a Horse

There's horse-trading and there's horse-trading. This is unavoidable during these presidential elections as it has been with every previous showdown. Then we have mudslinging and machinations that invariably appeal to the Middle Easterner in us all. To be fair, it also contains more than a dash of byzantine maneuvering.

In the old days the mud slinging and melodrama had to take much more extreme forms ranging from virtual kidnappings to accusations of espionage. So, even before the fans gather to take their seats in anticipation of the Mother of all Cup Finals the 'crews' have to get to work. And kidnapping does not need to be an option as we have more means of communication available than one can shake a stick at. And, unlike football, the violence does not need to mar the aftermath of the game.

Choose your weapon, loonies. It can take the form of bilious comments (as we have seen time and time again) that really ought to remain in place for all to enjoy and have a chuckle, as it becomes obvious that the only talent they have mastered is cut, paste and forward. Ahh, the children of a lesser brain - bless them for entertaining us in their own moronic manner.

As for the offensive text messages transmitted by loonies across the political spectrum of brainless fanaticism, one can feel offended. For a few seconds. But, to be quite honest, I'm more disturbed by an SMS I occasionally get reminding "Dear Militsa" that sports bras can be bought at a considerable discount. I know I need to get to a gym but these little messages are a bit too much. If I were to get melodramatic about the effect they have on my psyche I don't think I'd ever get laid! So, no, I won't fall prey to melodrama on this one or any manner of extremeist on-line idiocy. But hooligans cannot kill a sport.

The recently ousted president has gone to ground and I'm certain that he's getting a huge kick out of seeing how much damage he can do to all parties left to stand and fight. Calling in favours to stir things up before retiring, the big loser of the presidential elections, is simply behaving like the child who would rather break all his toys for the mere satisfaction of seeing the other kids cry.

And many are those who have had it with both remaining candidates. They too could play a role if they insist on casting a blank vote and get organised for the next showdown. Blogging en masse is but the tip of the iceberg. But more blank votes is something Tassos would love to see at this moment. If nothing else, he would see it as sticking it to Jimmy for calling him a liar. And an SMS or two could also stick it to Yiannakis. The more string TeePee has access to, the more he'll pull.

I'm glad Tassos is out, but I'd rather see him stay farther.


February 21, 2008

CyBC - Valentine's Day

Your Vote Ought to be the Power Behind the Button

The land seems to have been gripped by unparalleled sensitivity. People seem to be less offended by the unjustified price hike of souvlakia than a bunch of silly text messages currently doing the rounds.

I intend to vote for Kasoulides despite his endorsement by the archbishop. This, less than a year after the official glorification of the late Archbishop Makarios III - an initiative orchestrated by the Ministry of Education during the Tassos regime.

I intend to vote Kasoulides even though he has said nothing concrete to allay Mr. Pomilorides' ludicrous concern that becoming more European may lead to an increased number of homeless.

I intend to vote Kasoulides because I've had enough of Tassos and I'd rather not see him become the power behind the button - after all, he was undoubtedly the more powerful and influential component in the coalition that has taken us nowhere during the last 5 years.

Let's put things in perspective and do our best to prevent Tassos from becoming our very own comeback kid.

February 20, 2008

"Will THEY represent us in Europe?"

Decisions, decisions...

"this is whom I wanted to back but daddy wouldn't let me..."

February 17, 2008

Bye bye bye

February 16, 2008

February 15, 2008


The IQ Test

A man walked into a very high-tech restaurant in the Four Seasons Hotel in Limassol. As he waited to be seated, he noticed that the Maitre D' was a robot.

The robot clicked to attention and said,"Sir, there is a one hour wait and I am programmed to converse with you until a table is ready, if you please."

Intrigued, the man said, "Entaxi."

The robot clicked a couple more times and then asked,

"Sir, what is your IQ?"

The man answered, "Oh, about 164."

The robot then proceeded to discuss the theory of relativity, Interstellar space travel, the latest medical breakthroughs, etc.

The man was most impressed. The next day he returned, but thought he would try a different tact.

The robot again asked, "What is your IQ, sir?"

This time the man answered, "Oh, about 100".

So the robot started discussing Grand Prix racing, the latest basketball Scores, and what to expect Apoel to do this weekend.

The guy had to try it one more time. So the next day he returned and again the robot asked the question,

"What is your IQ?"

This time the man drawled out, "Uh...about 50."

The robot clicked, then leaned close and very slowly asked,







Tassos ?"

February 14, 2008

Where is Photis?

We haven't heard from Photis in a long while. Where is he? is he building desalination plants on his own in an undisclosed location? Is he on the campaign trail? Has he saved Akamas? Is he importing potatoes and onions from the psudo-north?

We want Photis!!

February 12, 2008

A Message from Tassos?

As the incumbent's popularity dwindles, this is the sort of speech we may see Lillkas or Omirou deliver. Hmm, maybe even Syllouris...

It's amazing how the incumbent's support keeps dwindling. And as it dwindles the little lapdogs come out to play. Tassos supporters have been infesting the comments section of such blogs as the presidential elections blog for a while now. And as the elections get closer all the halfwits and Tassos supporters with water on the brain have bombarded the blog with idiotic, off-topic and boring as dry shit in a desert type of overlong and verbose rants.

Some of our regulars go by multiple nicknames (the all time favourite having been the highly imaginative 'anonymous') but the content has but a few constant themes. The Annan plan, resistance, bloody foreigners and - as of late - the evil Cyprus Mail. They're funny to read until you realize some of these confused puppies, foaming at the mouth, actually believe they shite they spew.

So, yes, the level of immaturity becomes sad. And sad is the lack of vision. Sad is the inferiority complex, the xenophobia coupled with more than an unhealthy dose of self contradiction coupled with delusion.

Sad is the fanaticism with which all these inward looking and highly insecure puppies rally round the worst and most paranoid president this country has ever suffered under.

It will be even sadder if we do not turn Cyprus into a Tassos-Free zone.

Say NO to Tassos.

Choose Life!

February 08, 2008

Brown Shirted Boy

It's been a while since we've seen Kareklas get all authoritarian on TV. It was, therefore, such a pleasant surprise to see him assert himself on CyBC on Thursday night. Kareklas, who has taught his underlings to say "I will not allow it..." in order to discipline guests on talk shows, was in full force and decided to pick on Marios Matsakis.

Many viewers were convinced that with every "I won't allow you to talk that way" the TV news department boss boy barked, the more turned on he looked. It certainly got a few doddering old wimmin in Ayia Marina Xyliatou a bit damp, not to mention a few burly taxi drivers who'd love to be barked at and spanked.

But inexplicable fetishes aside, young Kareklas ought to get a grip on...his manners and not his manhood when acting as if he owns the joint (that's not what I meant, officer).

Giving 3 of the representatives of the leading campaign double the time allocated to Matsakis and Igoumenides (representing Costas Themistocleous) was a crappy thing to do. This ought to be looked at by the Broadcasting Authority.

Badgering Matsakis is not a very intelligent thing to do. In this case, however the Euro MP put the boy Kareklas in his place.
Boy: "So, how much money did you spend on your leaflet which appeared in all the newspapers...?"

Matsakis: [after a pause, which allowed boy to dig a deeper hole] "It only went into Simerini at a cost of £1000..."
Heh, heh, heh.

Get a brown shirt, boy and a haircut like Emilia's. The taxi drivers would love that...

February 04, 2008

Singing for Democracy...