July 31, 2008

Holey cow Batman!

According to OffSite [and later on "Alitheia"] His Most Democratically Elected Eminence Archbishop stated He supports our [Communist] government's decision to get back into full scale reunification talks when the summer is out and the schools are back in.

For which, by the way, we're grateful, because a new round of talks coinciding with the start of the school year might distract His Holliness Snidley Whiplash from his religious schools masterplan.

Don't be massively surprised though. The quote, as given by OffSite was that:
«Η Εκκλησία της Κύπρου στηρίζει την έναρξη συνομιλιών διότι άνευ συνομιλιών δεν μπορεί να λυθεί το εθνικό μας θέμα»
Which sounds great right next to:
«Η Τουρκία κατά τη διάρκεια των συνομιλιών θέτει πάντα μαξιμαλιστικές θέσεις, κάτι που με κάνει να πιστεύω ότι δεν θα καταλήξουμε σε λύση»
Seems like someone's letting talks go ahead even if, or especially because, they think it won't work? What a beacon of moderation of moderation His Beautitude has become.

The statement having been made right between a meeting with Mr. Marios "we disagree with conducting talks but agree anyway" Garoyian and right before a meeting with Mr. Dimitri "let's put a cement block over Yes by saying No" Christofia, we should be reminded that the Ethnarch loves backroom dealings and playing at rasa and daggers. And it's far easier to smile and nod and wait to be called upon to say "I told you so".

*We illustrate this post with a younger, more innocent Tom 2, née Irodotos Demetriou.

July 25, 2008

Contemplation on "Making It"

Photos courtesy of ReDD

I am not from Cyprus, nor have I ever been there. But I do know a really nice guy who is from Cyprus, so there’s my claim to a guest posting on Stravara Mas. He’s a handsome guy, fabulous hair, sharp thinker and used to live in New York. He’s a guy that I often envy because he “made it” in a sense that he made it the hell out of this city.

When you move to New York everybody always tells you “If you make it in New York, you can make it anywhere”. That’s kind of stupid because nobody ever goes on to actually define what “making it” really means. Automatically we assume it must mean making a shit load of money on Wall Street or at least dating a guy who does. Or maybe its paying $5000/month for a cockroach infested studio in Manhattan while looking extremely hot, being rude to strangers and spending a ton of money you don’t actually have. Not sure, but either way… it sucks, because it sets you up for the notion that if you leave this bloody place without having done any of those things you leave feeling like you’ve failed, or like you just didn’t quite make it.

Well, whatever it means, we – the guy from Cyprus, Redd and I – we did none of those things here. I don’t know about the others, but I for my part got my purse set on fire on 23rd Street; got flashed by a pervert in the 14th Street subway station; undertook a 3 ½ hour hike in heels when the power went out; dodged two planes that made a rather large impact somewhere downtown; narrowly escaped an anthrax attack on my office building; nearly got trampled during a subway fire on Canal Street; got cheated out of 5 bucks by a guy pretending to be in a wheel chair; heckled by a life-size cross bearing Jesus freak; missed several opportunities for making some extra cash while riding the elevator with (now ex) Governor Spitzer; got called a skinny white bitch on the 77 Bus; fainted once on the F-train; met a guy who ended up pooping in my bed; caught my landlord going through my panty drawer and got myself in huge trouble with the Colombian Mafia.

I’m still standing though and even happily waving my arm. Yes, Redd (the one doing the lovely tree pose) and I are still standing albeit at the end of the world at the blasted Ikea waterfront in Red Hook on a Saturday night; wondering how the hell we ended up here and what our next move should be.

As for the Cypriot…. Well, we released him back to his homeland because he was the first to actually get it. He understood that he didn’t need New York and all the symbolism that comes with it to actually “make it”. So I say, to hell with “making it” and let us move on to more important things. Like "doing it", for example.

July 23, 2008

Employee of the Month

Andreas Hadjipapas - Cyprus Weekly

July 12, 2008

Make Souvla - Not War!

Urban guerilla event organised by Dear Architects

July 09, 2008

Internal Tourism or Not?

So, will this lead to the Hoteliers' Association offering better rates and packages to locals, regardless? Group plans? Is this an umpteenth Attila? So many questions and not a drop to drink...

Holy Crap, Wash My Taxi!

That's right, Noullis is back. The curtain was raised by Chuck Kelly in his piece on taxi drivers. They may as well ask to be given the option of handing out scratched lottery tickets in lieu of change. But that's old hat, dude. Done before, done before.

Where in the Bible does it mention taxi drivers inheriting the earth? Bless their peckers if they never wash down there. For only those who conserve will be considered meek.

And what's all this about the bloody water pipe being ten feet short? And what's this about Comrade Jimmy telling the press that one can't chastise a minister for being [in effect] cavalier of attitude and utterance? And, yeah, maybe he wasn't too happy about the water being blessed but he kept quiet.

Can't see the water for the priests. Nor the road for the fumes.

Stravaaaaaara mas!

July 08, 2008

Airport bus

From today's press:
Αντιδρούν οι οδηγοί ταξί στα δρομολόγια λεωφορείων από και προς αεροδρόμιο

in English:
Taxi Drivers react in new bus routes to and from the airport

Their reaction was genuine, straight from their hearts...

Passengers would no longer travel in a diesel Mercedes accompanied by thick gold ring wearing, well mannered taxi drivers who occasionally feel kind enough to give female tourists a choice of whether they prefer to have sex on the dashboard, trunk or back seat…

Let's not forget that allowing locals and tourists to take mass transport to and from the airport would make Cyprus look more like other countries, civilized for the most part. That would take away our uniqueness, thus making us less of an attraction.

Not to mention the confusion such a move would cause around the world by having to reprint all the travel guides which emphasise that you can only walk to our airports or take a taxi..

So for all the above reasons and many more, please … don’t provide alternative transportation to the airport…