What is He Doing?

We'd like to thank Marketway for making us laugh today

In Solidarity and Support

We hereby cross-post this call for solidarity, as it appeared on George Stratis' blog:

"Dear friends,

Recently attacks towards me coming from racist and fascistic circles in the Northern part of Cyprus took a different dimension and started heading towards a social lynch.

Until today, I did not show any reaction towards these attacks. There was no need to take these political attacks seriously. Although I was shown as a target and threatened through these attacks I believed in the support of the democratic forces in our community and I was thinking that the most beautiful response to them which were forwarded not only towards me but also towards my friends, was our life style and our writing. The last three years these attacks took a new course and they turned into a very open and vulgar sexual harassment. I kept silent even then, as many women would do on such occasions. Knowing that talking about them and objecting to them could even increase the victimisation of my gender. But recently things turned into a serious and unacceptable level. Extracts from my novel, of which the first edition was published in 2002 by Iletisim publications, were selected out of context, distorted and were presented as my own biography and transformed into instruments of sexual harassment against me. These attacks are both trying to degrade me in the eyes of the society through humiliation and “assassinate” me psychologically. These newspapers are read out every morning on TV programs, some of which are via satellite. In our small society in the Northern part of Cyprus, whoever I meet is talking about them. The Newspapers are in the hands of my students at the University.

I finally decided to take action. First, I will start a legal struggle and ask for a good amount of money. I wish that this case be primarily viewed as a case for the defence of literature and so be transformed into a platform for discussion of freedom of expression and creation. I want to turn this trial process into a festival on literature and the freedom to create and so refrain from presenting it merely as a court case about sexual harassment in which I will be placed as the centre. I know that I can do this only with your support, all of you my friends, the writers, the feminist and human rights activists. I wish that with the speeches we will make during the process of the court hearingsd and with the conferences we will organize outside we shall be defending literature and our right to creatively imagine. I also I dream that with the compensation money we will win we can organize a literary festival. At this stage what I need urgently is your psychological support.

I know that I am part of this beautiful family and I am sure that you will honor me with your support.

I embrace you with love.
Neşe Yaşın"

Go here for more information on the author

Warm Welcome

VassoLyss was given a warm and festive reception upon his arrival in Syria. The people of Stravaraland are confident that the doktor will manage to fix everything and get the Syrians to torpedo the ferry boats sailing back and forth between Latakia and the non existent, yet occupied, port in the georgraphical north.

Or was that an illegal port in the non existent north? Crap, I'm totally confused now.

The Pre-Election Freebies

The following have been announced or implemented in the Far-Away Land known as Stravaraland. Any relationship between the forthcoming elections and the following announcements is potentially coincidental. Yet something deep down tells me that the following have not occured randomly. Enjoy a partial list.

1. All priests get a pay rise between 30-50% (announced by Tommy B, paid by the state).
2. Many refugees get title deeds on their properties owned by the government.
3. Pensions rise (more for the more needy, also serves the ideal of spreading the butter out to more voters).
4. Jobs in the public sector are announced after 4 years of job freezes.
5. Tax is reduced on personal income, first time this is done in 5 years.
6. Petrol tax is reduced, first time this is done in 5 years.
7. Money to withdraw old cars (first time measure).
8. Increased stipend for students.
9. Increased stipend for the blind.
10. From Colleges to Universities, September 2007. No regulation about fees to be charged on current or future students. That was a bit unfortunate, I am sure (8) can be raised to compensate for this on a case by case basis.

The following had a more personal touch:

11. To Lefkosia Mayor Eleni Mavrou, and all the multicultural Lefkosians, the prospect of opening Ledra street.
12. But the Biggest Freebie of them all goes to Mehmet Efenti. For arranging cruises from Famagusta to Lattakeia, for building up all that was left to be built in the Geographical area known as the Turkish Republic of Northern Cyprus, Mehmet Ali Talat gets the recognition he deserves. Not any more is the solution to be found in Ankara, nor are the keys held in that big safe in the Turkish President’s House. No longer does anyone who knows anything about the infamous CyProb should know that the key to the solution cannot be found by asking Mehmet Efenti for it. No. From now on, negotiations will start in earnest, with Mehmet Efenti, our good and honest friend. Moreover, all those dollars given by the American Embassy to promote reconciliation and understanding, well now we will use them to create a common understanding about the negotiation process among the people. Yes, on October 18th 2007, da President hath spoken. And has delivered the biggest present of them all. Three and a half years after a horrible witch-hunt initiated by the current incumbent, against people on both sides of the divide, after succeeding in all his foreign policy goals, from a position of unassailable power, the Magnanimous Leader is going to initiate the process to solve the CyProb. You have to shake your head in disbelief. Or is it horror?

13. I had to end it at 13, something like the 13 points. But don’t worry, I am sure lot’s of other freebies will be unveiled as we are still 4 months away from the forthcoming gladiatorial contest between Grandad Jimmy and Granddad-bearing-gifts TeePee.

What is Erato Thinking?

Lenu

UCLA is closer than we thought.

WTF?

Portugal's Prime Minister, Jose Socrates (L) and Angela Merkel

Listening in...

...maybe one day they'll talk to me too...

Spot the minister

Think About it...

Has anyone seen Lyc lately?

Maaaaaaaarco....

Competitors in the Cyprus-Brussels sheep race, seen here following the one with the GPS directions to Marcos Kyprianou's office in Brussels

Memo to Photis

Koumpare Photi: Here is your chance to become a local hero and make a bit of money on the side. After all, being wind driven (as seen in photo) you can't really be part of the natural gas scam.

So, after telling us that our scrapie infected sheep are the yummiest and to steer clear of pseudo-Bulgaro-Hellenic mutton dressed as chops, and having already insisted that if we were to eat imported meat we'd be nothing but traitors and that our bowels would open at the most inconvenient of times, here's your chance to make amends.

Screw going to Brussels; the sheep are already on their way to have a chat with Marcos. Instead, go to New Zealand or any place where lamb and sheep are considered excellent and do a deal to import 120,000 heads or so of said livestock.

Think about it: first off, you can make a small fortune in backhanders as well as getting more money from Brussels, not to mention your own cut (sic) of the buying price at source. You simply import the new animals and exchange them for the sick ones.

Once you've fixed this bloody mess, we'll have a chat about onions, potatoes and start a forest fire or two so that the government can speed up the Canadair buying process. Happy [en]trails, dude.

The Difference Between Smart and Fart

What I love about this island is the level of base coffeeshop conversation and a penchant for pedestrian analysis. The local ethos will never lend itself to any form of intelligence or, God forbid, synthesis. Everything boils down to what happened yesterday - as if half of the brainless arguments or suppositions at any given moment in time have any bearing on what we actually have at hand. A small matter of over 40,000 Turkish troops most definitely present, while the bearded lady of the land tells us we should all be patient before giving our beloved neighbour a hard time over an inconsequential ferry route between the TRNC (recognised - de facto - by PapaStrakkas) and Syria. Good move, sending Lyssarides to bore the crap out of the powers that be in Damascus, by the way!

And what we have at hand is merely a group of bandits stealing from one another as well as from the taxpayer. But the taxpayer seems to be absent at most times. As they have been since 1960. Find food, eat, as the old adage goes.

These sons of ugly whores and self-declared patriots of our little third world corner of the EU have their own agendas, as do those who claim they were forced into prostitution. And never does a journalist get to raise a hand and ask a question. After all, we have a state-subsidised broadcaster that insists on hiring such idiots as pompous Yiannis and pleb Yiannakis and placing them in the same department. Gott in Himmel!!!

Anywhere else in the world, the sight of cabinet members playing with little bells to declare open a shopping mall would cause nothing less than a slew of resignations. Especially as here is a real problem of ambulances trying, in vain (not that it would actually make a difference if they manged to get though) to get to Nicosia general hospital.

But not here, in the land with a GDP worth less than 7% of the capitalisation of a company such as Google. This, after all is the land where we are proud of our local lamb, regardless of the fact that they have to be slaughtered for the greater good of the general public (and health). Have any of our so-called journalists actually asked PhotPhot whether the milk and halloumi (hellim) of the land is safe to eat?

This is a backward land in which journalists are much better at taking Christmas gifts home than asking a few simple questions. They are very good at taking and being told what to think - for that is their genetic profile. Mere Salt Lake donkeys who know the one true road to salvation - their salaries.

And then we have the idiot losers who are still 'convinced' that they won the last battle - against the dreaded Annan plan, of course. They really have a bit less than nothing to say. The just have an occasional little fart under the blanket in mid-October as their elected government steal and plunder. They would rather forgive the intruder, thief and rapist than help the average idiot voters think for themselves.

Blessed are the malakes, for they truly will inherit the vote.

[cross posted on the presidential elections blog]

Town Planners, Unite!

Journalists. Where are they when you need them? Well, in Cyprus, they're probable behind a bus stroking their dubious manhood to a climax.

The road to hell has nothing to do with Chris Rea. It is the hospital - IKEA route that the half-witted journalists of the land have decided to go on and on and on about.

What these malakes have failed to do is ask the obvious question: Is there no town planning authority in place on this European Island? Did Mr. Shaqolas build his little nubile-trap overnight? Did the authorities have no warning? Was the MALL erected without the prior knowledge or consent of the powers that be? Were all those bell-ringing ministers and officials of state oblivious to the fact that a new shopping centre was about to come into being as they were ringing their little hearts out in full view of the island's electronic media? Is the taxpayer more comfortable blaming an entrepreneur rather than the assholes he (and she) voted into place (by proxy or by fart)?

Did the TaSSosState have no knowledge as to the intentions of IKEAman regarding the flow of traffic in the area?

Talk about the inability to organise a piss-up in a brewery! Long live the incumbent King on the island of the blind! Vote for anyone else but TaSSos and save the land.

Recycle Perdikis!

Bananistan

There are many similarities between the Mediterranean island of Cyprus and Stravaraland. Some claim these are one and the same. What, then is the connection between Bananistan and our sunny island - the most corrupt and politically backward in the European Union?

Read the Chronicles and keep abreast of the situation.

Why Tassos will win

Because Stravaralanders are reconciled with the status quo as the best possible solution under the circumstances. Why risk it with Kassou or Jimmy, who might turn around and really go for a bizonal, bicommunal federation? If you have The Real Thing, why risk it?

Because the international community is satisfied with the status quo.

Because the T/C and Turkey are both satisfied with the status quo. Why risk it with Jimmy or Kassou, when the international community knows what it gets with Tassos. But if someone else is elected, the international community will have to be reconvinced that Jimmy or Kassou are really milder versions of Tassos, but still pandering to the same needs of their electorate, and therefore unable to get a majority through the tough compromise.

Because the supporters of a settlement are not certain of the way to proceed, while the supporters of partition know exactly what they want to do, how they are going to achieve it and are 100% certain they are correct.

Because, if you have The Real Thing, why should you risk losing it?