October 19, 2007

The Pre-Election Freebies

The following have been announced or implemented in the Far-Away Land known as Stravaraland. Any relationship between the forthcoming elections and the following announcements is potentially coincidental. Yet something deep down tells me that the following have not occured randomly. Enjoy a partial list.

1. All priests get a pay rise between 30-50% (announced by Tommy B, paid by the state).
2. Many refugees get title deeds on their properties owned by the government.
3. Pensions rise (more for the more needy, also serves the ideal of spreading the butter out to more voters).
4. Jobs in the public sector are announced after 4 years of job freezes.
5. Tax is reduced on personal income, first time this is done in 5 years.
6. Petrol tax is reduced, first time this is done in 5 years.
7. Money to withdraw old cars (first time measure).
8. Increased stipend for students.
9. Increased stipend for the blind.
10. From Colleges to Universities, September 2007. No regulation about fees to be charged on current or future students. That was a bit unfortunate, I am sure (8) can be raised to compensate for this on a case by case basis.

The following had a more personal touch:

11. To Lefkosia Mayor Eleni Mavrou, and all the multicultural Lefkosians, the prospect of opening Ledra street.
12. But the Biggest Freebie of them all goes to Mehmet Efenti. For arranging cruises from Famagusta to Lattakeia, for building up all that was left to be built in the Geographical area known as the Turkish Republic of Northern Cyprus, Mehmet Ali Talat gets the recognition he deserves. Not any more is the solution to be found in Ankara, nor are the keys held in that big safe in the Turkish President’s House. No longer does anyone who knows anything about the infamous CyProb should know that the key to the solution cannot be found by asking Mehmet Efenti for it. No. From now on, negotiations will start in earnest, with Mehmet Efenti, our good and honest friend. Moreover, all those dollars given by the American Embassy to promote reconciliation and understanding, well now we will use them to create a common understanding about the negotiation process among the people. Yes, on October 18th 2007, da President hath spoken. And has delivered the biggest present of them all. Three and a half years after a horrible witch-hunt initiated by the current incumbent, against people on both sides of the divide, after succeeding in all his foreign policy goals, from a position of unassailable power, the Magnanimous Leader is going to initiate the process to solve the CyProb. You have to shake your head in disbelief. Or is it horror?

13. I had to end it at 13, something like the 13 points. But don’t worry, I am sure lot’s of other freebies will be unveiled as we are still 4 months away from the forthcoming gladiatorial contest between Grandad Jimmy and Granddad-bearing-gifts TeePee.

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