January 31, 2007

Tommy 2.0: Another Dream

Dear Stravaralanders,

Last night it happened again. As sweet sleep came to find me, a chariot of fire came down in Paphos and the Angel took me away. He told me he was going to take me to the Wings of Freedom, the ones Evagoras had written about, and where Makarios was having his daily coffee, as he wanted to pass on some more instructions. This morning I found myself with the following letter, again in red ink:
1. You did well yesterday to tell off Turkey and tell them that these lion roars about something that is not theirs will be punished. The struggle needs to go on, especially if some oil other than that Strakka olive oil is involved. You should also try to get Dick Cheney's former company involved, we will align their interests with ours, it is one of the lessons I told TeePee about in 1976 and I am telling you now so that you know.

2. You should continue this struggle. The President needs you. We need to show how tough we are because be being tough the G/C electorate gets a high and goes for the toughest candidate. Clrerides did it in 1993 and 1998, TeePee did it in 2003 and you must help him to do it again in 2008.

3. In the process it would be nice if we can think of a way to bring the Denktash regime back in power. Just to make sure there are no doubts about the final solution.

4. You should not object to the casinos. In fact, I want you to start one near Panayia, a super-casino like the one those duplicitous Brits are going to build in Manchester. Like the oil lobby in the U.S., it would also be nice if we got the Las Vegas lobby on board (Ask Kikis, now that he has a bit more time at his disposal) in our fight to reclaim our land. Do not hesitate, time is of the essence, do not let those Brits do it before You.

5. You are right about wanting the British Bases out of Stravaraland. But you should be a bit diplomatic about it. Suggest that if they leave, we will give them 10% of all our petroleum that. Whatever you do, try to be a bit more diplomatic because even though you do not speak English yourself, that does not mean that they do not understand what you are saying.

6. You need to give a further push that we get a few golf courses next to the casinos. We will then invite Tiger to play too and have the golf lobby of the world also support our struggle for fairness.

7. I particularly like the Secret School idea. You should definitely do it but maybe we should extend the age of the participants and also include the T/C so that we can bring them back to the right path. Once they start converting, we should baptize them like the ones I baptized in Kenya. 1000 Makarios exist in Kenya (at least). Think about it. Thousands of Tommys will exist on the Other Side.

Always here to inspire you.
Your Humble, new wannabe Leader,
Tommy 2.0 (stable - out of beta)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kick off! Here is a sample of how things should be done, Tommy. Imagine the websites popping out like mushrooms: "The legacy of Tommy in pseudo-TRNC". or perhaps the pseudo-legacy, since in a pseudo-state there is nothing real.
History Lesson

31 January, 2007 12:22  
Blogger Apodimos Kypreos said...

Excellent History Lesson. The following was particularly instructive about how the founder of Stravaraland thought, and what his political sons also probably desire:

On his way back to Cyprus Archbishop Makarios made the following statement:

“What especially moved me is the fact that in the eastern region of Africa there are thousands of Africans who follow the Orthodox faith. I sincerely believe that Greece can contribute to the christianizing of hundreds of thousands of Africans and through Orthodoxy the Greek spirit will shed light through the immense African continent.”

Bizonal, Bicommunal, federation, anyone?

31 January, 2007 13:10  
Anonymous vrs said...

who are you?!?!

where have you been?? really! thank you for this blog.

31 January, 2007 16:42  
Blogger To Hlithio Agrino said...

To T2...

Eat lite when its nite...

31 January, 2007 18:03  

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