August 01, 2007

Perdikis Liberates Cyprus

Dear Doktor Pertik,

My staff has just alerted me to a statement you have made, to which I feel compelled to reply.

First of all, please allow me to express my admiration at the way you have so far handled the heatwave over there in Southern Cyprus. I would also like to express my support in your efforts to keep the horses cool. I have already received reports from the boys at our outpost in AyDemet, and it seems the horses are really suffering. Afferim, Pertik Efendi, for ignoring the elctricity issue, desalination and crappy recyclage programlar to concentrate on an issue that no one other politikman has the balls to deal with.

And speaking of testikles, let me get back to that statement you made. Be George, you win. I have had it with fucking politicians and their silly wives who insist on wearing bits of tablecloth on their heads. I have had it with Abdullah and his stupid presidential dreams. I am sick and tired of being misunderstood. Up till now I didn't really give a fart. But, now, my dear little patriotic partridgeman, I have seen your dynamic plea and it has changed my outlook on life, alcohol and even civilians who wear Panerai watches.

Your bravery and clear focus have helped me in making my decision to withdraw all of my soldierboys and their bang bang toys from your island.

Fuck it and good luck with the horses,

YAŞAR BÜYÜKANIT,

Commander,
Turkish Armed Forces

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