What's for Lunch?

"....re koumpare, I'm just saying that it wasn't always safe around here"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, before the place got into the EU all these malakes used to come along in their diplokampins and play us with their shipetts"
"Ate re..."
"Nai, re gamwto, but because their dogs were terrible swimmers I survived"
"Wow..."
"Malista, and the people of Larnaca were so impressed that they named one of their hotels after me"
"What...Kokos Hotel....?"