Happy Easter

The Cyprus News Agency will be shut on Easter Sunday as well as the day after that. We pray that the bells sitting atop our enslaved churches can one day ring freely, in harmony and whenever the priest feels like ringing them. We also pray that DSL speeds in Stravaraland increase dramatically and that providers such as Primetel come to their senses and get me connected inless time than it takes to read the entire Memories of Stravaraland.

We pray that comrade Christofias finds it in his brave christian heart to forgive Nicos Anastassiades for calling him kaimenos.

We pray that we are spared the doom and gloom Tommy 2.0 has predicted in time for Easter and we wish him a happy repaste of lamb, having endured a 40 day fast during which time, we are told, he has consumed an inordinate amount of cashew nuts and boiled grass.

Happy bonfires and may freedom ring true as our Lord and Saviour rises in a triumphant display of human and holy rights.