Keep Him Home for Christmas

Now, listen up, you meddling foreign bastards. Yes, you, who keep trying to punish us for the heroic 'OXI' we defiantly screamed in your conniving and conspiratorial faces in 2004. You keep accusing us of trafficking women and turning artists into harlots.

Well, here we have proof at last that there is no such thing as prostitution on the island. We do, however have the highest concentration of pole dancing experts in the EU, many of whom work tirelessly into the wee hours. Pole dancing, as the Dizzy Chicks (a progressive female rock band based in Cyprus who also have their own culture show on State TV) of "better together" inform us, is a new and wonderful form of exercise that can boost any woman's sense of self esteem.

The intro to the item is hilarious, but my fave line in the pole dancing story: "Ha, ha, some people may think that that pole in the living room is there to prop up the ceiling".