Fishy Photi

The man who brought us killer tomatoes, dangerous onions, pseudo-Bulgarian lamb, rogue potatoes and who, at one stage, hinted at Foot and Mouth Disease having originated in the pseudoNorth is out to defend the fishermen of Stravaraland who have their knickers in a twist over the fact that the new Green Line regulations now allow for fish to cross the demarcation line.

The local fishermen and their preposterous claims have the full backing of the minister who never did a thing about desalination. The fishermen were going on about the 'low quality' of fish and even suggested that some of them came from Turkey.

Turkey, as you may well know, has a completely different sea than ours. We are surrounded by the Greek Cypriot Mediterranean, while the pseudonortheners and the Turks fish from the occupied, pseudo-northern Mediterranean.

Millions of tourists are duped every year into eating fish in Turkey which in many cases leads to instant death due to the extremely low quality of their highly toxic fish. This of course is covered up on an ongoing basis by the evil angloamericans.

But the fishermen have come up with a cunning plan. The fish ought to come with certificates that will indicate the name of the fisherman and the area in which the fish were caught. Yes, exactly the same information that is available to all consumers at all fish markets in Stravaraland where every bozo who sells fish insists it is fresh and hails from Latchi. Some of them even suggested that the fish be stamped like, say, sides of beef. What a brilliant idea! How do you stamp marides, re koumpare?

Surely, though, when Photis suggests that fish coming from the geographical north ought to be identified as 'imported' he is implicitly recognising the TRNC!