Bravo Photi!

Stravaraland's minister of agriculture, natural resources and the environment has yet to resign, despite leading the ministry from one gaffe to the next. His numbers never add up, his excuses are lame and racist, and the island is already facing and acute water shortage.

Over the last few years, Photis has tried to blame everything on the Turkish Cypriots. So far we've had to endure a number of preposterous allegations which included a tomato scare (remember what an alarmist fuss was made over the possibility of National Guardsmen consuming tomatoes from the north?) followed by a rogue potato flood, which turned out to be potatoes going from south to north. Then we had onions invading the republic.

But the minister's proudest moment came when he started championing Cyprus lamb and went as far as to imply that if we were to consume bulgarian lamb masquerading as Greek (both members of the EU and foot and mouth free) we would end up in purgatory, die or both.

Then came the foot and mouth "scare". One accusation that was flung about was that this came...from the north. This allegation was later played down.

But the math is incredible. A 10 km exclusion zone around the infected farm may, according to the minister who is unable to do anything about either desalination or forest fires, will affect up to 150,000 head of livestock which may have to be culled.

Who comes up with these numbers? What is being done about the primitive state of these farms? What happened to Marcos Kyprianou's efforts to save the island's goats and sheep? How much will this cost? What are the real number of infected animals? How can we skim off the the compensation that has already been promised?

How come this minister hasn't resigned yet?